Figuring It Out

I think as people we are always evolving, always changing. I think with each new season of life we change and, I believe I am changing again or I should correctly say, I think the Lord is changing me again. As you read further please remember this is just my opinion about myself. You do not have to agree, we CAN agree to disagree all I ask is that you be respectful in the comment section. 

For most of my life when it came to dress I was always one who wore tight, skin tight jeans, and tops. Then again for most of my life I had the figure to do it and, these days, it doesn't seem to matter if you have the figure or not women are still doing it. I am less than a year away from being Fifty God willing, and I no longer have the figure I once had but thinking about it I believe even if I did I would no longer dress in that way or in a manner that makes men undress you with their eyes. I used to believe that was fine. That "I still had it".. At least that's what the world tells us. God tells us as women something entirely different. 

Over the past year or so I have been trying to get closer and closer to God. Wanting to live for Him, and how He wants me to live, the way He wants me to live and I know my former way of dressing is not it.  In the past year I have been dressing more modestly, something that is severely lacking in today's society and fashions. 

Lately I have really been wanting to dress more feminine. It makes me feel more like a lady and it also projects to others that I respect myself and they should too although the later doesn't always works because not everyone in this world was taught manners. Another thing severely lacking in our society and a post for another day. 

Getting back to my 'new body shape' I have to relearn how to dress and it's not easy. I know the basic style for my body but today's fashions are fast fashion, you know, the kind that lasts maybe a season and then it's time for new because it's already worn out. To dress in quality clothing these days is expensive. So I have just been looking around on the internet at all different websites to see styles, quality, price and it can just be overwhelming! So, I am very slowly trying to figure it out.. Do any of you who dress modestly have any good places you can get quality, modest, yet feminine clothing that isn't the price of a mortgage payment? Please let me know in the comments. I am kind of feeling like I am out in the middle of the ocean without a life jacket here. 

It's Been Lost

The art of homemaking has all but been lost. There are still a few of us left but the numbers are dwindling. Homemaking like so many good and healthy things of the past have been lost and replaced by the modern way of doing things, most of which are not very good for the individual person nor the family unit. 

When I was a child in the 1970's homemaking was still alive and well in most homes. Before my father passed away in 1979 my mother was a stay at home mom. A, homemaker. She kept our home neat and clean, along with our bedrooms and clothing. She cooked good hearty meals for her growing children and hard working husband. Dinner time was at five pm every night and we would sit around the table as a family and talk about our day. My parents mostly wanted to know what we did in school, how was the day etc. These days family units rarely exist anymore. Everyone, including the children are all going in five directions at once. There is no more family dinner talk, children and adults grab something on the fly or they are staring at smart phones, TV's, video games. All of this has helped lead to the breakdown of the family. Saint John Paul II once said, "As the family goes so goes the world". He couldn't have been more right. 

Children are no longer brought up in a God loving home, where Mom is always there making life pleasant instead, children are career goal driven from the time they can walk. It's all about their future careers and how much money that will bring them so they can buy lots of things. It is extremely rare these days to find children being reared in a Godly home, instilled with good morals and values, helping at home and just being children. I met a grandmother the other day while standing in line at the store. She had her two year old grand-daughter with her who was, playing on her 'smart phone". She couldn't talk much but she knew how to use a smart phone at two years old. These days we are starting to scramble our childrens brains with electronics from the moment they can walk. 

Young girls are being taught they don't 'need no man', boys are being taught 'it's okay to be a girl' and some girls are being taught it's okay to be a boy. The femininity that was once the beauty of being female has been turned into masculinity and the masculinity that was once the beauty of being a boy and one day a man has all but been lost as well and turned into something feminine.  

Young adults these days are among the most confused, and misdirected humans anyone has ever seen. They do not know right from wrong anymore they hold no moral values to what is good. All of this is so incredibly sad. 

In my day I did not have any of the issue's these children and young adults of today do. We did not worry about sex at the age of five, we did not worry 'what gender we wanted to be at three years of age. We were children. We played like children we were sheltered as much as possible from the cruel things of the world for as long as possible. For most children my age, mom was home.... making home a place you always wanted to be, dad was out making a living to support us all. We had a set dinner time every night and the family table was for eating and sharing our day. Weekends were for family, friends and family vacations in the summer. There were no electronics to get in the way, there was no TV time during dinner or any other time it was not permitted. We played outside in the sunshine and caught lightening bugs after the sun went down. Although I don't 'like' getting older I am truly grateful for having grown up in the time I did..Most of us, compared to today had an idyllic childhood. And that idyllic childhood was made possible for us because of homemakers. 

I pray that young parents of today will see the value and importance in being a homemaker and rearing children in a Godly home, and letting them just be children before the world attempts to corrupt them. This is what the world needs again. Old fashioned ways of living all propped upon the homemaker and the love she brings to it. 

How Do They Do It?

I just don't know how they do it anymore. I was sitting here today thinking about growing up and living most of my life in New Jersey. I lived only about thirty minutes away from New York city. Back in the 1970's it was considered "Suburbia", "country". Now a days it's a city and an extremely expensive one at that. The house I grew up in my parents purchased in 1967 for Twenty Thousand Dollars. It was a nice home, a modest cape cod with smaller rooms. That's how homes were built back then. The last time I saw it listed in the market for sale it had a price tag of FOUR HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS with Five THOUSAND a year in property tax!.

I was just floored. Absolutely floored. The structure of the house is still the same. Of course over the years new owners have made changes but it's still on the same 50 X 100 lot. You can't expand or add an addition but now it's all about, location, location, location. 

I have family who still live in New Jersey a few towns over from the town my brother and I grew up in and the population explosion over the last twenty years has been insane. The traffic is beyond insane and I began to think, how does my family still handle living in that constant rat race up there? 

MSL and I moved to South Carolina back in 2003. At first and for the first eight years or so it was a major culture shock to me. I was used to the 'rat race', pounding the concrete, eating stress for breakfast and now, just thinking about it all makes me exhausted. I realized I have acclimated to my surroundings down here in the country parts of the South where life is a bit slower, people are friendlier and God is everywhere. I used to think I could or wanted to move back 'home' to be near my family again and yes, while I do miss them I now know there is no way I could handle living up there again. I wouldn't mind visiting for a short time but to live there again, no, it's not in me anymore. 

I saw a t-shirt on Fakebook (facebook) the other day that I would love to have. It said, "I like to stay in bed, it's too Peopley outside". That is me to a T. No pun intended. I like people, I like to be social but I like it at a distance now. I like my quiet country mornings and nights. I hear no sirens, no airplanes except on the rare occasion a flight path is changed, I hear no honking horns, no neighbors yelling at each other. Yes, I like living in the South. 

My Kind Of Day

(photo credit 1stdibs.com)

It's Sunday evening at almost Eight PM and I am tired but, it's a good tired for a good day. I am sure to some it would be a boring day for them but for me, this was a good day. 

It's Sunday which means it's the Lords day which means it's Mass for me. I am a practicing Catholic and Sunday belongs to the Lord. Well, every day belongs to Him but on Sunday I try and make that day just a little more special as He has requested. Wake up came at Five AM. Mass is at Eight AM and I need time to get something to eat, have some coffee, then get myself ready.. If I could get up at Five AM everyday I would because that hour between five and six am in my home is one of the quietest I get all day but I have tried in the past and it just doesn't work. My body doesn't like it all the time so one day a week it works for me and I am sure that the Lord has his hand in that.

I was out the door by Seven-Thirty Am and on the road to Church. Mass was so incredibly peaceful this morning and I left feeling spiritually and physically lighter than when I went in. Afterwards, I had to run to ChinaMart (Walmart) to pick up a few food items for the week. I really didn't want too but sometimes on a Sunday it can't be avoided. When I got home MSL had done all the morning dishes and so we sat at the dining room table for a while and talked a bit over coffee.

Yours truly after I got home from Mass. I wore a dress and I also had a little bolero sweater on to cover my shoulders as I try very hard not to allow my shoulders to be exposed during Mass.

By Eleven AM I was getting tired. My physically body is good for about  six hours before I start getting pretty tired and the RA pain starts to ramp up so for once I listened to my body and went to lay down. I fell asleep a bit after One PM and slept until Three PM. When I woke up I wasn't all that hungry so I just had some pureed prunes (yes I know some people think they are gross but they are good for your stomach), half a cookie and that was it. Talked with MSL for a little bit and by Four PM it was time to feed the dogs. Once that was finished I sat an relaxed for a little while and afterwards it was time to get dressed and head back to the Church for an hour of Adoration with our Lord. For non-Catholics if you don't know what Adoration is, just Google it and you can learn all about it. 

My time slot was Five Pm to Six Pm and it was, well, for me, glorious. It was just me and the Lord and in the small chapel all alone. I looked at Him and He looked at me. I talked to Him for a good long time, prayed for others, prayed the Rosary and then sat and listened for the Lord for a bit. Before I knew it the Church bells were chiming and it was time to go home. I would have liked to have stayed longer with Him but I knew it was my place to go home and cook dinner for MSL. Tonight's dinner was a simple one and I am blessed that MSL isn't picky. Just cooked up a chicken breast in some olive oil and cut it up over a spring mix salad with the some Raspberry Vinaigrette dressing and dinner was done. Cleaned up the kitchen, straightened the house a bit, took off my makeup and here I am. Time to relax for the evening.

I do hope you all had a wonderful Sunday also. If it was a stressful Sunday or a busy Sunday try best you can this week to make a plan on how to make your Sunday one that is almost stress free, carefree and dedicated to the Lord. I can tell you that you won't be sorry. 

Life Changes

I remember it like it was yesterday although it wasn't.. My own mother going through peri-menopause. Yes, this is the topic of this post. Sorry if some may find it offensive but, it's part of every woman's life if she is blessed enough to reach it and, I have. 

My blog has been very quiet, I have not put up any YouTube videos but what I have done is put on a lot of weight in the last year. I have gone from one hundred and five pounds to approximately one hundred and thirty three pounds. I began with the 'sweats' only when I would sleep about three years ago but now they are full on sweats during the day where I want to jump into a vat of ice cold water. There is no warning, no particular time of day but even doing the slightest thing like blow drying your hair can make you sweat. Along with all that beauty comes the emotional and mental side affects of this time of life. Anxiety, addictive like behaviors, interrupted sleep etc. Next we move to the appetite and metabolism. I 'used' to have a very fast metabolism but now it seems to move at a snails pace and to make matters worse the sugar and carbohydrate cravings / addictions are just horrific. Hence the massive weight gain.

Most days I wake up tired, I have no drive to accomplish much nor the energy if I did. Some will say, 'why don't you go on hormone replacement therapy?' and my answer to that is, the side affects from HRT can be worse than what I am going through now so, no thanks. 

But, I MUST get this all under control. I have lost all sense of willpower over anything I am allowing myself to do to my body and that has to stop. Some woman have horrific anxiety and anger and take it out on their husbands and or families. I went through a period of that last year and thanks be to God He allowed me to see what I was doing and so far I have complete control over that and, I am so incredibly blessed to have a husband who puts up with me even if he can't understand how I feel, he accepts it and still loves me. Some are not so lucky. 

I almost feel bad now when I remember what my mother was experiencing all those years ago and how at the time ,I was in my twenties, still young, pretty, thin and living life while my mom was  naked on the bathroom floor tiles at three am some nights just trying to cool off. 

Many many years ago doctors used to tell women, "this is a wonderful time in your life, a new chapter". I wonder how many of those doctors got a frying pan to the head after those statements?

Mother- Gift From God

June 26th, 1943 my mother entered into this world and on August 20th, 1999 she exited this same world. 

Today would have been my mothers seventy-sixth birthday. I can not even imagine in my mind what she would have looked like or been like at seventy-six but I sure wish I was given the chance to have found out. When my mom passed away she was fifty-six years old. Still young, attractive and vibrant until she became ill. 

This August will mark twenty years since she moved onto the next life but for myself , her passing still hurts deeply within my heart and I doubt it will get any better as I age, if I am blessed too. 

But today is about her birth and one I am so thankful to God for that I have no words. My mom grew up in Jersey City New Jersey where she met and married my father at the age of eighteen. She was an only child who came from modest means. Not poor but neither rich. She was a good daughter but she also had what I like to call a, rebel streak in her. My grandmother, a strict German woman who put up with nothing she didn't think was proper, my grandfather a very affectionate, German man who gave into his daughter eighty percent of the time unlike my grandmother who stood her ground like a bulwark. 

At this time in history most of the area in Jersey City NJ where my mom and dad grew up was called "The Heights"..They both went to John F. Kennedy High School, both shared the same friends. What was not allowed in most families of the era and place was romantic relationships between Germans and Italians. It was a grudge both sides carried from the old country. My mom and dad had to sneak around for the longest time to see each other. My grandparents forbade my mom to see my dad. The Italian / German thing but when my mom and dad turned eighteen, six months after they graduated, they ran away and eloped!. That took guts knowing how my grandmother was but my mom knew what she wanted and being a legal adult now, nothing was going to stop her not even her mother. 

Eventually my grandparents would come to accept my dad, even love him especially after giving them two grandchildren one of which was me. My mom became a widow at age thirty-six and life was rough growing up but that's a different story for another day. On this day today, I celebrate the birth of my mother, my confidant, my mentor, my best friend. 

Happy Birthday Mom. I love you and I miss you more than words could ever express. 

Home Making Kind of Day

(photo credit: Library of Congress)

It's almost 9:30 PM and it's been a long day...

My morning began at Six Am when my alarm went off as it does each morning at the same time. 
I was up and out in the garden by seven thirty Am trying to beat the heat and humidity. God was so kind as to give me a morning with slightly less humidity and a wonderful breeze as I watered the vegetable garden and flowers on the deck and then out into the front to water the new bushes that were put in a few weeks ago. For the first time this summer I did not even break a sweat. 

Afterwards it was time to make the bed and feed the four legged kids. While they all ate I finally had a moment or two to sit down at the table with my morning coffee and read the email that had come in over night. I would have loved for it to last longer but this is the first day I have actually been home in the morning and I had lots to catch up on.

I put my ear buds in and popped on some music by one of my new found favorite artists, Josh Woodward. Google him. He's really good. I put the dishes from the night before away and began on the mornings dishes. Once that was finished I threw the blanket I use to nap into the washer and put down baking soda on all the carpeting in the house. I like to use baking soda at least once a month to keep them clean and smelling fresh. With five dogs it has to happen. While the baking soda was sinking in the carpet fibers and doing it's job I made the bed, swished and wiped down both bathrooms. 

Around Ten AM , MSL (Mr Simple Life) went up to Walmart to pick up the order I placed the night before. While he was gone I transferred the blanket to the dryer and put my sneakers into the washing machine. Yes, I wash my sneakers. Some people may find that weird but I think ironing underwear is weird! Next, I wiped down the kitchen counters, the refrigerator, other appliances and cleaned the stove top. 

I was ready to sit down by 10:30 Am. I grabbed my reading glasses and my Bible and went and sat in my favorite spot on the living room couch. The dogs were all ready to relax by this time as well. I sat there and enjoyed looking out the windows, the day was hot and sunny, my flowers looked so pretty. The peace and quiet was wonderful while I read the Word of God and was able to concentrate on what He was saying to me. 

After MSL got home around 12PM I was ready for a nap and my feet were letting me know it by barely being able to put them on the floor because they were so painful. Me and a few of the dogs napped for about two hours. It was much needed. This afternoon I went to the local waste authority and got rod of some stuff that has been laying around the house for months. When I came home it was time to feed the dogs and cook dinner for MSL . Tonight was Tuna steak, asparagus and a side salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing, cleaned up the kitchen from dinner along with the dishes. 

I sat down for a while and worked a bit on a crochet project I am making, I read for a good long while a book called Characters Of The Passion by Fulton J. Sheen. Around seven thirty PM we went out on the back deck and sat for a bit even though it was humid and watched the dogs run around the yard and explore. Then it was time to come in, close the house up for the night, pray and here I am . 

It was a tiring day but a good day. The kind of day I enjoy. Being home, home making, reading, gardening and just being with my family. 

I hope you had a wonderfully blessed day too!