April 12, 2008

Saturday April 12th 2008

Was a beautiful day here today.. Close to 80 degrees and breezy.. I didn't do much today the body wasn't cooperating and Lou was very helpful today. He brought me my eggs in bed this morning and cleaned up the kitchen for me..He decided that today he was going too try and get a lot of things done although I think he was biting off more than he can chew. Anyone who has a chronic Injury like Lou does or a chronic illness like myself knows all about wanting to "do it all" when you're not feeling as poorly as usual.

When he explained too me all he wanted to do today I nicely said "well OK, thats good but I think maybe you should pace yourself, do one thing and then see how ya feel" in typical man fashion my answer was "Eh, I'll be fine" Yeah OKKKKKKKKK... Anyway... He had to go to Walgreens and get my pills for me and then when he came home he was "only" going to mow the front lawn.. Now we have a half acre of land and also a ride on mower so it's not too bad..Ofcourse he ends up in pain even with the ride on because of the bouncing around on it but if he was only doing the front I had no need to worry, would only take about a half hour and he'd be done..
I should ALWAYS know better with my husband.. He mowed the front lawn and then went and did the back lawn and I thought OK no big deal, he'll have some pain but will be alright.. Well we have this small fenced in area in the backyard that used to belong too Tara and Hanna. My potbelly pigs..Unfortunately Hanna died last summer and Tara went too a forever home at a sanctuary with a very nice new piggy mom...Anyway, this area was REALLY overgrown.. I mean the grass and weeds were like waste high... You can't get the ride on in there because of the fencing around it so he was going too use the week wacker which isn't bad it would have cut right through that stuff in no time with not a lot of effort.. Wrong again, weed wacker decides it doesn't want too work So what does my brilliant rocket scientist of a husband decide too do? After having had 5 back surgeries, and one neck surgery and being on Fentanyl AND morphine daily for pain he decides he's going to take the damn PUSH mower and go in there and try and get through all that with the push mower.. Well, me being me, I saw this and I FLIPPED... I was watching him trying to do this and I could see he was draining himself of all energy and he wasn't lookin too good.. When he saw me standing at the back door he shut the mower down and came and sat on the deck. Once he got in the house I pretty much blasted him because I was fuming pissed off at his stupidity.. I told him if he didn't start thinking about taking care of his body better than I was walkin away from him because I could no longer live like this having too worry all the time that he'll go and do something stupid like he did today which isn't the first time.

I know that may sound cold to some of you but you have too understand that we rely heavily on each other..and also, I love my husband..and I love him as much as I love life itself and if anything were too happen too him I honestly don't know if I'd survive and if it happened because of his stupidity not only would I be destroyed I'd be VERY mad and destroyed.. I told him he needs to think about me that he's not the only one in this marriage... He agreed and said he was sorry for being stupid.. Imagine that, a man who admits when he's stupid...LOL...Boy, he's come a long way......LOL......Later on he tells me he wants too quit smoking because he would like to add a few years onto his life too be with me and while that is VERY sweet and I LOVE him for saying that in my head I was kinna like Huh? You wanna do that so you can be with me but you pulled that stupid stupid stunt today? Where was I in your head then?...LOL... My husbands heart is in the right place it's just his common sense that seems to get lost a lot...(Thank you God for blessing me with a mother who taught me common sense because I now have a husband who doesn't have much at times..LOL)

So that was todays fiasco..Didn't do too much tonight, actually been bored all night. Saturday night tv is aweful and we didn't have any good movies too watch...I played around with my graphics on the computer for a little while and worked on my blanket and thats about it....So I guess I"ll close this entry for now.. Until next time~~~~Good night and God Love you~~

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~Robyn~ XO