Well today is December 30th 2008 and I have once again hit rock bottom financially because of my shopping addiction. In November my husband and I were out of debt almost completely and the feeling was so wonderful and freeing but then we said, well Christmas is coming and we have some credit cards we can use so we'll only do a "small gift exchange this year" just a "few small items, nothing big" well with the frenzy of getting ready for the holidays and looking at all the 'sales' and wanting to make the other 'happy' our 'little' Christmas ended up turning into I don't know how many hundreds. Then it was, well since we have freed up our credit lets start doing some home improvements. Not "much" just some new paint because well, paint can do wonders. Some how once we got to Lowes, that, just 'some paint' got totally lost and we got into new carpeting for the dining room, new light fixtures for 3 other rooms, new paint for 4 rooms, and of course the wall color is different so now we needed new curtains in all the rooms and a new backsplash for the kitchen since we didn't have one at all and granted it looks beautiful all done in Italian marble tiles but did we really need to go that expensive? No we didn't but we did.. So here we are a little over a month of having been out of debt and we are right back in it.
Finally tonight just thinking about what I will be facing next month when all the credit bills start rolling in it actually turned my stomach because I realized we went from "Christmas shopping and home improvement shopping" to, me ordering off QVC again, HSN, Shop NBC, Lou went to a few different stores etc. I understand now after knowing what it felt like to have all that heavy debt gone in November, just what a serious problem I have. I am a shopping addict. The truth is I can't seem to stop myself when I see something I like. I have to have it. Even if I know it will spend money I know I don't have. I thought about my trip to Kmart the other day to pick up a few small items and I remembered what it felt like when I was at the store. I remember feeling like I wanted to buy something else even though I didn't know what I wanted. I was actually scanning the store looking for something to buy. After going over my actions in my mind tonight I knew I was in trouble. This is a serious problem. I'm an addict just like any other addict by my addiction is to shopping.
So I took my first few small steps tonight which, to a shopping addict is actually big ones and were almost a little scary but knew I had to do it. First, I went online and joined Debters Annonymous. Then I had my husband put a block on every damn single shopping channel there is on TV so that I can't view any of them. But, there's always online shopping that these channels offer to right? Yes there is. So my next move I made tonight, I went to each channels home page that I shop from and removed all the credit cards I had on file. If they aren't there I can't buy anything. I would need to physically enter the numbers and I cant' do that because the cards have all been "put away"...
I think I made some good progress tonight but like with any addiction I know this will be a day by day thing.. As they say in AA, one day at a time. I am going to do just that. One day at a time. I will post follow ups here on my blog for anyone interested in my progress..
Wish me luck! I'm going to need it!