April 22, 2009

Time Clock

It was an absolutely beautiful day here in South Carolina today.. The breeze was blowing, the temperature was in the high 60's, just a wonderful day and.. I missed the entire thing. I bet you're wondering how that could happen. Well it's easy.. Last night my body decided that even though I was absolutely exhausted to the point that my vision was blurry it was NOT going to let me sleep..

No matter what I did I could not fall asleep.. I took my muscle relaxer at 10pm like I do every night and I was so tired that while I was online at 11pm I was falling asleep but the moment I got offline, turned the lights out and laid down to sleep, my body had other ideas. I tossed and turned for hours, I got angry, agitated, anxiety filled, upset, didn't matter.. my body was pissed off and was letting me know it in a BIG way...Thats one of the bad things about having a sick body. There can be times where you feel so tired that it's an effort just to breath but, your body will not sleep..

The end result was I finally fell asleep somewhere close to 5 am. Lou also didn't sleep either.. However, he was able to fall asleep somewhere after 4 am ..At 730 am my alarm went off for my morning muscle relaxer which, I almost slept through and at 10 am my husband woke me up so I could try and eat some eggs. Around 11 I dragged myself, and when I say dragged, I mean DRAGGED myself out of bed into the kitchen. My head was in a fog as thick as on found on a good rainy London night, I was dizzy and my body was weak with fatigue but, I had to clean up the kitchen, unload and reload the dishwasher, and feed the dogs. All of which I somehow managed to do but by the time I was done, I was DONE.. I then went back into bed..Took my muscle relaxer at 130 pm and slept for about an hour and a half. I feel a little more clear headed tonight but still very tired...Sadly, Lou isn't having a good day / night either.. He is dealing with medication withdraw because his med schedule was all screwed up from him not sleeping last night so he's dealing with that hell ontop of being exhausted as well...

I am sorry I missed being outside on this beautiful day though. These are the kinds of Spring days that remind me so much of my mom.. She LOVED days like today and she would be outside all day till evening, cleaning her car, planting flowers, cleaning the patio up. It was her kind of day.. Now that she's no longer here with us, on days like this I can go outside and feel her with every breeze and I really missed that today...

Hopefully tonight my body will decide not to take revenge on me and I can get a good nights sleep...

Here's to 8 hours well, atleast 5 of uninterrupted sleep! Good night.

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~Robyn~ XO