January 4, 2011

News News News and other Ramblings!

Wow! It has been a LONG time since I posted an entry here.. I guess it's about time huh?...My gosh where to start. So many things have happened since my last entry....In October of 2010 my husband Lou underwent his 6th back surgery to repair the massive damage the last surgeon did during his 2009 back surgery. As of today , all seems to be much better. I can not say he is out of pain but, he is no longer in the horrendous pain he suffered since the 2009 surgery. Unfortunately I think that back pain and neuropathy (nerve damage) will always be part of Lou's life but cutting it down to a minimum he can handle without all the heavy pain medications would be a blessing. As of his last visit with the surgeon, we are told everything looks well and Lou is still not to do anything strenuous. Now if you know Lou thats almost always impossible but, he is trying best he can. On the other hand, at times, he does push himself to see just what he can and can not do yet. Sometimes it's a good thing and other times, not so much. When we see the surgeon again in February I am hoping he will send Lou for physical therapy. His posture has gotten better somewhat although, at times he still is hunched over like a 90 year old and that is because his back and stomach muscles from being hunched over for a year are no longer strong enough to hold him upright for long but he is getting there little by little. Another good outcome from this past surgery is that now, Lou can use his legs to full strength almost again after 18 months or so of not being able to and he has no more leg pain. All in all to this date, this last surgery was a success. He has to take it slow and we will just have to see how he does over the next coming months.

In regards to my own health, not much to report but the same. Still not good, still not getting better and I'll leave it at that..

In December we lost one of our beloved dogs, ( I hate calling them that even though thats what they are, I much prefer furchild). Bruiser went into massive liver failure just 2 weeks after we had run complete blood work on him that came out perfectly..We have no idea how this happened so quickly but we do know the cause. Bruiser had been on Phenobarbital for months for his seizure disorder (epilepsy) and we would run blood work every few months as you should to make sure the kidneys and liver aren't being adversely affected. As I stated above, Bruisers blood work in November was clean. Nothing wrong at all. It came on suddenly and we tried everything we could to make him better, to get his liver to function again but sadly, it was not to be. It was a horrible week for Bruiser, myself and my husband and on December 6th we had to let him go and he was ready to go. Needless to say my husband and I were decimated by his passing. Our dogs are our children and my heart was broken into a million pieces which, I did not even think was possible anymore but, I was shattered. I miss my boy every day, I think of him every day, I tell him how much I love him every night and I suspect I always will until the day comes when I see him again and I can hug and kiss my "Big Boy" once more. We had Bruiser cremated, yes they do that for animals, his remains were returned to us less than a week later in a beautiful oak box that had pretty carvings all over it. We have placed it on the mantel over our fireplace along with his picture so we can see it everyday. Bruiser is and always will be still a huge part of our everyday lives just as he was.

No real progress on our moving back up north. Financially there is no money so we are resigned to the fact that we will have no choice but to make some kind of life here until the housing market turns around and we can sell this house.

Over the last month or so I have had some tough decisions to make. I have had to finally break the bridges with a few that I thought were friends. It wasn't easy but it was something I needed to do for me. With the amount of negativity in my life I needed to remove the negativity that I can control. It still bothers me that I had to do this although I really should just let it go completely because I know for fact that it's not bothering those I cut ties with. They really didn't care much to begin with so why would this be any different. You would think after all these years of having chronic illness and watching friends and some family members fall away because of it I would be used to it, but , I guess no one ever gets used to the reality that some people in your life aren't what you thought and really never cared for you as much as you cared for them. This to shall pass I suppose.

On a happier note, FaceBook helped me once again in reconnecting with some people I haven't talked to or seen in 15, 25 years. One of them was my best buddy Bob. Gosh, when I was a teenager Bob and I were thick and thieves. Always together. And no, there was never anything romantic between us we were just very very very good friends. The kind of friends that you could call for help no matter what the time of day or night and believe me, that happened more than once.. Bob was my rescuer.. As a young female like most, I had LOTS of drama in my life.. You know us "girls" we love drama.. That is until we hit about 40.. Well Bob was always there to pull me out of one situation or another.. He was and still is a true friend.. We reconnected this week. We spoke on the phone and our conversation flowed like we never missed a day. It was truly awesome and something I am very thankful for! Now I just have to convince him to move from Arizona to the south east and we'll be all set... LOL

Also this week, I reconnected with another friend I haven't talked since I was about 15 years old. It was SO great talking with him again and I can't wait to do it again....It's amazing how looks can change, etc but deep inside we are still the same people we always were., For some, thats a good thing. Others, not so much. So far for me, it's all been good.

Well, I guess thats it for this update. I am going to try and write more. It used to be a passion of mine but somewhere along the line it got lost with some other things. I want to try and pick those up again because they are good positive outlets..

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are looking forward to a wonderful new year.

Ta-Ta for now!

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~Robyn~ XO