June 5, 2013

Totally Deflated...

So, whats been going on in my mind lately.. Truth be told? I am completely and totally, fed up, disgusted and feeling defeated. Sorry this post won't be all happy clappy, nice nice but sometimes, the real world sets in...

Today, make that yesterday, I was trying to find a dental insurance plan or discount plan for my husband and I  that we can afford and that actually covers 'something'.. Most of the insurance plans are useless as they only cover $1500.00 per year which in our case (mostly mine) is a drop in the bucket of what I need. They have huge deductibles and the way they are structured is ridiculous. Most plans have "waiting periods". Who the hell can wait 18 months to have a tooth pulled when it needs to come out like, yesterday? Also, a lot of these insurance plans only pay out 20% the first year, 40% the second year and so on.. Really? Whats the point of having it then? Because 20% is better than 0%? Not really when you consider the premiums you pay each month to get that 20%...

Then there are dental discount plans which granted, do help but that means you have to have the money to put out of pocket to begin with..Sorry, my husband and I are, dare I say it? Poor.. No we are not as poor as some but we are poor. We live on a fixed income with no way to add to that income. We are stuck..And other people wonder why there are those walking around with no teeth in their mouths... Now I'm really sorry (not really) if my next statement offends but it is the truth in this country.. If my husband I were illegal aliens or prisoners of the state? ALL of this would be provided for us FREE of charge..but because we are poor white Americans? Nothin...

Some will say, "sell your house". I wish I could.. It's under water by about 50K. So nope can't do that and no we can not refinance under HARP because our mortgage is not backed by Freddy Mac or Fanny Mae,. There are MANY homeowners like us left to flounder.. Some will say "walk away from your home and rent" Well, if we walk away from our home that kills our already bad credit even more and umm have you tried to rent a decent place lately? And by decent I don't mean a mansion but I do mean a place where the cockroaches don't bunk next to you. Let me enlighten you. To rent a decent place these days most landlords now run credit checks. Why? Because the economy is bad and because they can. They also know that many people are having to rent now and they hold all the cards and some landlords use that to be 'King" if you get what I mean.. If you come up with a poor credit history, then you're history. You're not getting a decent place. I also have my 7 dogs and no one will rent with 7 dogs. Some will say "Get rid of the dogs" my answer? Get rid of your children.  In the last year I have tried to find good loving forever homes for my 3 big dogs.. No takers. No one wants them and I am not going to murder them. Sorry.. So once again, financially we are stuck.

Then of course because I want to move back home (New Jersey) where my family is.. My niece and nephews, my hearts, we can not because of all of the above. So each day I play the game of ignoring my broken heart as best I can. Then, everytime I "think" we are going to get a little ahead in a month something comes along and knocks us right behind the damn eight ball again..

I did not chose to live this way.. Have we made financial mistakes? Some big some small? Yes.. Who hasn't?.. But as far as being to help our finances it doesn't seem possible with me being chronically sick and my husband as injured as he is. Neither of us chose to have these disabilities. I did not choose the cards that were dealt to us. Sometimes I feel guilty for wanting these small things like being able to move home, my dogs and not have to worry every month how we will pay all the bills and make it to the next month when there are others who are much more poor than we and some who are starving but, and please don't think me cold hearted (if you do oh well) while I have SO much compassion for others I did not make anyone poor and I am not responsible for starvation. So why should the simple things I would like in life not be important and why should I feel guilty for complaining or wanting them?

This really is not a post meant to be whining or asking for sympathy. It's more for myself to get it out of my head because I am so damn sick and tired of life beating the crap out of my husband and myself for simply wanting to live near loved ones and not wanting to have to keep worrying if we'll make it through the month financially and what happens if we dont.....


  1. Sometimes life just seems to beat us down .I have no words of wisdom for you. Just know, things have a way of working out, and hopefully one day soon you'll re-read this post and see that to be true.

    There has to be some sort of dental assistance in your state though...

  2. Are there any dental schools near you -- takes longer as supervisors check student's work but more affordable perhaps?

    Ditto what KathyB said -- will be thinking of you

  3. We are in the same boat as you, just know you are not alone. My husband needs a lot of dental work and at 41, is thinking dentures might be the way to go instead of the years it will take to get the other repairs done, not to mention what will happen in the meantime as the other work is completed. I have kids and animals, and I wouldn't give any of them away.

  4. Sorry you are feeling so down. As one who is going through dental work right now (and has insurance) I agree, dental insurance is pretty much a crock. My employer plan only covers up to $2000 a year - one tooth problem and that is used up, just like that and I'm still going to be almost $1000 out of pocket. I pay $312 a year for each of my children to have them on my dental insurance - just to get $2000 of benefits.

    Robyn, if you have room in your budget for monthly dental insurance, instead maybe put that money towards paying off a dental bill. I have poor credit and was just approved for $2100 in credit with CreditCare.com for my dental and vet bills. I was given no interest for a year. You could see how much you are approved for (and your dentist has to accept it) and get started with some of the dental work and make small payments monthly.

    Dental work is no fun, but I agree with Jean - check into a dental school at a university.

    1. Edit: It's "CareCredit.com" and I meant to say that your dentist has to be participating with this program, in order to be able to use it.

  5. You definitely are in a frustrating situation. I know if it was me I likely would hang on to the property as slowly in other parts of the country real estate is starting to rise again and eventually you will be above water. We self insure for dental. Are there any dental schools near you that might be willing to do some discounted work? Do you have a room in your home that you might take in a boarder, even just temporarily? I wish I could say it is an easy road but it isn't, you have had many challenges that other people like me haven't had to face. I just hope things start getting better for you.


Please leave your comments, I love hearing from you! :)
~Robyn~ XO