August 10, 2013

Falling House Of Cards...

Yep, thats pretty much how things feel right now. If you're bothered by non happy clappy posts then you probably won't want to read this but , sometimes real life just slaps you upside the head...and it has for me.

So whats been going on....Have you ever felt just completely defeated by life? When no matter which direction  you turn something else is just slugging you right in the kisser? Thats how it's been going here. 

Let me begin with the start of August and my so called 'budget' and 'paying down debt'. Umm, yeah, hasn't happened in a while. I've been making nothing but minimum payments on everything because my homeowners insurance kicked in, in July to the tune of $200 per month until January of 2014. You may think thats high but because we live in a modular home and even though I am fourteen miles away from the coast and not in a flood zone, ever since Hurricane Katrina, homeowners insurance rates here in the South anywhere remotely near the coast skyrocketed and aren't coming down. Yes, its highway robbery but what choice does one have?

Since it's been so hot here in the South our electric bills have been close to $300 per month as well. So, between the homeowners insurance and the electric bill you're looking at $500.00 right there. Living on a fixed income, trying to pay down debt with these two extra amounts each month and trying to survive the month financially just doesn't work. So I am very discouraged as far as my debt. Not only because I haven't been able to pay it down but because I've had to add to it as well. 

Last Thursday my dog he is.. 
Yes, he smiles, was unable to urinate. I prayed it was a simple urinary tract infection but alas, it was not to be. We rushed him into the vet, he had to be cathed in order to pee, Xrays were taken and it turned out that Jakes bladder is full of stones!.He stayed over night at the hospital with the cath in and the doctor was hoping he could push the stones back up and medication would dissolve them.. Once again, I prayed and once again it wasn't to be. We went back on Friday and the doctor said that while Jake is now able to urinate he will need a major bladder surgery to remove all the stones and they will actually have to make him a "female" meaning they have to make a (if you're squeamish stop reading)
 hole that he will urinate from before it hits his penis so that if he gets stones again they will be able to pass. Surgery is this coming Monday and to the tune of $1700.00. Yes, I almost threw up all over my vet. Thanks to God, our vet will let us pay it off at $250 per month so now we will REALLY be even more strapped for money each month. And before anyone has any ideas of commenting and telling me to put my dog down? Forget it!. Jake is only 7 years old ,he's in good health and I"m not going to kill my dog because he has bladder stones. Anyhow, this just adds more financial grief. 

After getting all over my husbands case for the last 3 months about his laziness I find out the truth, finally. Now mind you, I have asked him a dozen times if he was sick, didn't feel well and each time the answer was "no Im fine" which ofcourse then just pissed me off more because what else is left when one just sits on their ass most of the day watching you kill yourself trying to keep up with everything ? Laziness. Well, the hubs finally told me he hasn't felt well in months, he thought it would pass and may have been from his surgery in November. Then we kind of had a riff about him taking so long to tell me and letting me walk around with a pit of aggravation in my gut each day when I didn't have to. We will be addressing this with our doctor very shortly.
Then there is my little girl Lady who sadly, I don't believe is long for this world. She is 14 yrs old, diabetic, deaf and blind and while she had been doing well she is slipping now and quickly. She's had this cough as well that we can't find the source of and her eating habits have changed in the last week also. She's eating less, sleeping and coughing more. It's bad enough we have to face losing her but I will also have to come up with an extra $300.00 when she does pass for her vet bill and cremation bill... Are you seeing the theme here?
I have my family coming here in one week, this coming Saturday that I have not seen in 6 years. You can't even imagine how much I am looking forward to this. They are like the air I breath and I need to be with them for a while. Well, my body has decided to screw me over. I am getting migraines again that started the other day that nothing works on and honestly, I do not feel well at all. Perfect timing huh? My house is in a shambles because I've been working on it and now I don't have the stamina nor the desire to put it back together before they get here and I don't have the money to pay anyone to come clean.

Lastly, If you know anything about me at all, then you know how much the Lord means to me. Well, even thats been suffering as well. Because I haven't felt well and the night time I seem to feel worse my prayer life has become almost non existent and I am trying very hard to get it on track again.. 

So, my house of cards is crumbling and I am getting whipped at the stake from every direction. Ever have a life like this? 


  1. If I lived in your area I would come and help you clean. Sorry to hear that hubby is not feeling well and that the dogs are having health issues too.
    As a fellow Christian, I will share with you one of my go to verses when things are dark -
    Jeremiah 29:11 -- For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    Hope you have a good visit with the family

  2. Wow, so sorry for all the crap that has been thrown at you. Hopefully your hubby will feel better soon. As for the house cleaning, just throw everything in the closet and since it is your family they will just have to understand, or help out. Perhaps it would be good to share with them what you have been going through, I am sure they will get it. Your poor pooches, I would definitely spend the money on the operation. In my home, pets are part of the family and we do everything in our power to heal them.

  3. Carly is my 19 year old ewe with arthritis who needs help getting to her feet...many times during the day. And I do it and so does my farm sitter. She understands how important animals are to us and she does what needs doing. There are animal people and non-animal people...usually, they don't understand each other -lol-.
    Cremating seems expensive in your neck of the woods; around here it'd be about $50 for a small dog, around $80 for a medium size and a tad over $100 for a large dog. Ask me how I know...
    One way to lower a.c. bills...use a dehumidifier to help take moisture out of the air which will decrease a.c. bills. for more information, look here:
    Also, check with Santee Cooper (is that your elec co?) and see if they have a energy savings program. Ceiling fans help a lot, counter clock wise in summer and clock wise in winter.
    Sorry about Jake and I wouldn't put him down either...look into the dog food you're feeding...some of it will cause stones.
    Yes, I do know about being discouraged and it stinks. I still have my devotions in the morning and would have given up five months after Dave died had God not said, "Sandra, if you kill yourself, you'll miss all the blessings I have for you."
    Now, when I get discouraged (still too often), I remember God's promise and cast my cares on Him. Some days I have to do it over and over and over and over and.....but He is faithful!

  4. Hang in there, Robyn. I'm sorry that everything seems to be hitting you at once. You know that I understand this as we live from month to month and every unexpected expense throws us. Scout had to have bladder surgery for stones several years ago. Her bladder was full of them. She now eats special food because of her tendency to develop stones. Also, start giving him distilled water. Scout eats WD food.

    Blessings to you, you deserve them.



Please leave your comments, I love hearing from you! :)
~Robyn~ XO