November 13, 2014

Why Do I , We? Do This?

Hello friends, 

Today I wanted to talk about unnecessary spending of money. Does that touch on any nerves with you as it does with me?
Over the last year I have seriously down sized my stuff..Such as clothing, shoes, make up, hand bags etc. I keep looking around thinking to myself you have so much "stuff" you don't "need" all this "stuff" so why do you keep buying this "stuff" when you know you don't have the money for all this "stuff"? Did I say the word "stuff" enough for you? The reason I did is because I am trying to get my point across that all the things we have really are just "stuff"...Non important "stuff" yet, for some, for a lot, very important "stuff".. So I asked myself another question, Why do you put so much importance on this stuff?

My answers sad to say really didn't have much depth to them. The long and short answer is, because I like my stuff , it makes me happy. Which lead me to the next question. Okay, it makes you happy but for how long are you happy? A long time? Momentarily? Does it last? And the sobering answer is, not very long. I get that high that all shopaholics do from the ordering or physically picking out items at a store, to the anticipation of bringing it home or being delivered to the few moments of marveling at my new stuff but after that? All gone...

I knew I had to get serious with myself so the next set of questions and the most important question after all of these is, what are you hiding or running from? What is your shopping habit giving you? What is it filling for you? 

And there it was.. I was facing myself and needed to answer. After some thinking which didn't take long I had my answers. The root of all my over spending. Some people when they are running from grief, anger or being upset turn to eating, some turn to drugs and or alcohol. As for myself, I turn to spending money I don't have to spend. I am running from my poor health of twenty years which is just getting worse, I am running from missing my family who live in another state, I am running from my grief over loss of family, close, close friends, loss of my health, loss of my adulthood to poor health etc..

The other day I was feeling overwhelmed by the loss of Onyx, the news of my husband needing yet another surgery and all of the above which always comes back out when I have any kind of loss. So what did I do? I went straight to the department store and purchased a brand new coat for $60.00 US. I knew I didn't have that money to spend. Money is so tight this month we will be lucky we make it financially until the end of the month and I owe others money I borrowed last month. But just as emotional eaters do I ran to my crutch.. 

Well this morning (Monday) I got myself dressed and returned that coat that I didn't need right back to the department store. Put the money back in my wallet and came straight home. Didn't buy another thing because I knew why I bought that coat in the first place.
So while I recognize now all the reasons why I have a spending problem which is good, it's now time to work on it and as you can see I am. Little by little..

What about you? Do you see yourself in any parts of this post? Please share in the comments I would love to talk about it. 

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~Robyn~ XO