August 22, 2016

My Ten Year Old Self...

I was recently asked, if I had the opportunity to go back and write a letter to myself when I was ten years old what would I tell my ten year old self? I thought about it for a bit but not too long because now at forty-six I know exactly what I would have said. My letter would look something like this. 
Hello ten year old self. 
Why don't you come and sit down next to me here on this cozy blanket so we can talk a bit. 
I know you're afraid. I know life seems uncertain and scary. I know the kids at school are being cruel to you and I know that you feel like everything has been ripped out from under you and everything has changed. 
In one aspect you are right. Everything has changed but just because it's changed doesn't mean it's going to be bad. You don't have to be frightened. Your mom will still be with you for a long, long time. You will feel comfortable again in a house that you will eventually call home. The kids at school don't understand what you're going through so do the best you can to ignore them and when you can't talk to your teacher. Don't be afraid to go to school and when you are tell your mom and she will help you. It's only a few months until summer and the next school year will be better. 

Soon you will feel comfortable around kids and grown ups again. In time the world will feel secure around you again. It won't be the same as it was before but it will be alright and you will grow and mature and become a confident young woman who can feel safe and accomplish whatever you put your mind to.
Good and bad things happen all the time and they always will no matter how old you get but even when you feel like no one understands and you're all alone there is one person that is always, always with you. Jesus is always with you even if you can't see Him, He's there. All you have to do is say "Jesus I'm scared" and I guarantee you that in a few moments you will feel better because Jesus will put His arms around you and make you all better. Just like you know your daddy isn't here where you can see him but you know he's in heaven and  he is always watching you and putting his arms around you too.
I know everything I am telling you right now seems impossible but I am asking you to hold my hand, trust me and go forward. Your world has changed but all that change will get better and you will stop crying, you will stop being afraid. You will smile again and you will shine again.

Your adult self. 

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~Robyn~ XO