It's getting harder and harder to push through my days, it' s getting harder and harder......
to get myself out of bed in the mornings. I've been sick for many many years. Over 25 now. What started out I with what I was told was Lyme Disease, over the years seems to have morphed into honestly, I don't know what. A few years back I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was told then that I probably never had Lyme Disease and it was more than likely RA. To be honest I don't know who is right anymore or what I have been walking around with all these years. I have had so many diagnosis's, so much medications it would make your head spin but always something I am told, "there isn't much we can do for"
Now that I am getting older, about a year away from being fifty it seems my body is once again changing and unfortunately it doesn't seem for the better. In the last year my body pain and swelling has increased fifty fold, the constant fatigue one hundred fold, the digestive issues, the brain fog, the weight gain, I could go on and on but what would be the point in that.
I have been to the doctor a few weeks ago, I had blood work ran but haven't been able to get my results yet. Medical care in the United States is becoming less and less than even sub par. We used to be known for the best care in the world. Not so much in the last thirty years. Most of us are now treated like cows on an assembly line. Move em in, move em out. Pop this pill if it doesn't work we'll give you another one. Kind of like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see if it sticks. No real care or concern just dollar signs with a number that is, if you can even afford health care.
It is highly apparent there is and has been something new going on with my body for the last year, most of it I am sure has to do with the female reproductive system and getting older but also, new changes. I have once again resigned myself to doing what I did twenty - five years ago, that day I sat on my couch at age twenty-four, crying out to the Lord that doctors are making me worse, no real answers so I will put myself in Your hands and what will be will be.
It's very sad that I live in the richest country in the world yet medical care is abominable and will most likely get worse but in all this pain, sickness and confusion I have one thing I know will always be true. One person I know will always be with me, one person who will always have my best interest in mind and one person who will always care for me come what may..
God. His love for me is incomprehensible. His mercy for me grows day by day. His guidance always in my thoughts, His presence always at my side, His loving arms always carrying me when I can't carry myself.