After the post I put up last night I knew I needed to sit down and get my brains straightened out. So, I did...
I actually took out my journal and began to make a sort of list. I needed to put things into perspective for my own mental health and I wanted to share it with you in the hope it may help you also. T will stand for "Thought" and CT will stand for Counter Thought. This is a trick I learned to help me recover from severe anxiety disorder years ago and it does work. Here is what I wrote last night :
T - This may very well kill those I love.
CT - Those I love including myself could die at any time for any number of reasons. You've learned that hard lesson too many times since childhood. Stop forgetting it but don't obsess over it either.
T - This plague is killing thousands of people every day, we are surrounded by death.
CT - Influenza kills thousands of people every year. Every day we are surrounded by death we just don't hear a lot about it.
T - This plague is so much more contagious than Influenza.
CT - Is it really? As of right now it seems to spread in the exact same way.
T - What have I touched? Have you disinfected enough? Did you do it correctly? Are you washing your hands enough?
CT - I remember as much as possible what and who I've come in contact with. I have done my best to disinfect everything I can the way I know how. I wash my hands as I've been taught.
Conclusion : I am doing the best I can and asking God for His help. I am trying the best I can to do what I know and to leave all those I love and myself in Gods hands. No one can ask anymore than that from me not even myself.