July 5, 2020

I was Never Taught



In this post I wanted to share with you something that I have struggled with all my life and I'm wondering if others also have. 

My parents like I believe a lot of my readers also, came from a different generation than the ones we've seen since the mid nineteen nineties. They were taught that you grew up, settled down, got married and raised children. And after looking around us the past twenty years I am convinced more than ever that is still the best way to live but, I digress.

In those days the woman stayed home and raised the children and made home a safe, loving, comforting place for us to live in. The husband was the bread winner. He made the money, paid the bills, provided for our needs and gave his wife some spending money for herself. She didn't have her own money. There was no your money and my money. It was 'our' money but the husband handled paying all the bills and the financial aspects of life so the wife could focus on home, children and him. While I still think that is a good way to be it also can cause a huge problem

That problem is, it teaches the woman nothing about finances, how to budget or the value of a dollar and, unfortunately that is where my own mother found herself. Unexpectedly widowed at thirty five with two very young children. She was now the bread winner, had to pay all the bills, learn how to balance a check book and create a budget. No one ever taught her how to do these things and she had no one to teach her now for sure so, she did what a lot of people do. She went by the seat of her pants which for her and us, proved to be financially disastrous. And because she had no one to teach her, she could not teach me either. A person can not pass onto others what they don't already posses themselves. 

My mom sold our home a few months after my father passed away and instead of understanding her finances she did what most people do when they suddenly have a lot of money and no compass to guide them. Not thinking of the future, she bought a newer, bigger home, replaced all the flooring, wall papered the entire home, bought all new furniture, had the kitchen half redone, new sod laid outside, a new pool liner etc. And then, something happened that there was no way she could have seen coming. About a year of living in this new home, the foundation began to shift and sink. In fact, the entire property was shifting and sinking including the swimming pool and, there was no money left. Mom didn't understand about "putting something away for a rainy day" because she had never had to worry about that until, now. So what did she do then?

To be continued.....

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~Robyn~ XO