I'm still fighting, I'm still battling, I'm still struggling to try and find my way...
A few months back I think I wrote that I was struggling with where I belonged anymore as far as my faith goes. I am a Catholic and have been almost my entire life but in the last few years so much has happened within the Catholic Church that I have begun to question if I still belong there.
I will say that I still firmly believe most of what the Roman Church teaches and tells us as far as dogma is concerned and the ancient Roman Catholic Church is beyond beautiful. There simply are no words for it's beauty but since Vatican II really came into play from about nineteen-seventy onward that beauty has been eroded more and more and now here we are in two thousand and twenty it's almost all but gone.
This is all due to the wickedness of men who have been allowed to run rampant unchecked for decades and it's getting worse. We do still have 'some' good, faithful priests and a few faithful bishops but these days they are extremely hard to find. We also have had a pope for the last seven years who seems to be an idol worshiper, a heretic and a creation worshiper as well as a friend to those who are enemies of God.
There has been vileness and corruption in the Church for quite sometime but since this pope came along those who make up this camp are no longer hiding in the shadows. In fact, they are now front and center and in my heart I can't take it anymore. They have stolen my Catholic Faith. Not my faith, my Catholic Faith.. I don't want to be part of it anymore. Every day some new scandal or off the wall comment comes out of the Pope, the Vatican, a whacked out priest or a wacky bishop. Always just trying to destroy what's left of the Church and I'm tired. I'm angry, I'm fed up and I'm sick of it.
I know in my heart I will more than likely always be Catholic but all I want is very simple. I want to worship God, love our Lord with all my heart, follow Him every day in every area of my life, I want to live His Words and Truth and right now in the Catholic Church that seems almost impossible to do that. If you don't know what I am talking about, please ask me. Don't assume. Ask me and I will explain it in other posts.
I know a lot of you who read my blog are not Catholic Christians but you are Christians whether you ascribe to a certain denomination or not. I have just joined Proverbs 31 Ministries online and I will begin my first bible study with them tomorrow. I don't know if this is the right way for me to go, I have asked the Lord to show me. If this bears fruit then I know it is. If it doesn't, then I know it isn't.
In upcoming posts I will be elaborating on what has happened in the Roman Catholic Church over the last few years to help you better understand my gut wrenching struggle.
For now I am trying to walk a path with God that I've never walked before and I am trusting Him to lead me to the right destination.
Do any of you belong to Proverbs 31 Ministries? If so, what is your opinion of it?