August 8, 2021

I'm Sorry - Catching Up


Well hello friends and family! I know it's been a LONG time.. Since May actually... Time seems to slip by so fast as you get older and it slipped away from my blog. So much has been going on so let me bring you up to date. It's nothing earth shattering, just life...

The hot weather rolled in and so did taking care of the garden.. Things were going well and then, we realized almost all of our tomato have some kind of virus. I was able to salvage two plants and while they are producing, the fruit is small and some of it not too good. So I pick the good ones and ditch the rest...

The chickens are growing up quickly and getting to be almost full size. Sadly, we lost one. My husband went out one morning to check on them like he does every morning. Gives them fresh clean water, fresh food, checks over their feathers, faces and skin and while doing this to one of them, she seemed fine but the moment he put her down, she flapped her wings and literally dropped dead... I've spoken to some farmers in the area and they said sometimes it just happens. More than likely the poor thing had a heart attack because she was growing too quickly but it just happens. I will say, I was pretty deeply affected more than I thought I would be. We've raised them since they were babies. My husband were more affected than I because he's really been the one who has been raising them but that is life on any homestead when you have any kind of animals. It happens..

Then I was running around like a nut for a few months because my brother decided he wanted to move down here with us and he wanted to get here as soon as he could so I was making deals with home owners, talking to real estate agents, researching properties, going and looking at manufactured homes and then, he pulls out.. With my very limited energy and spending it all on them needless to say I was, 'less' than happy and that's all I'll say about that...

In June, I wound up in the emergency room thinking I may have been having or had a heart attack. It was Memorial Day Weekend to be exact. After nine long, excruciating hours and them scaring the hell out of me and making me sicker than when I walked in it was determined that more than likely I was not having a heart attack and it was my stomach. They wanted to keep me, I was pissed that I was sicker than when I walked in because of all the drugs they were giving me so I signed out AMA.. And yes, I heard it from my doctor all about why I shouldn't and should never do that again. I am not saying anyone ever should do that but sometimes, you have to listen to your gut.

Well that incident started the rounds of doctors and tests. My GP sent me in for a CT scan with contrast (I've never had that before, felt like someone poured hot lava down my gullet)  because the hospital said I had gallstones.. The CT scan came back clean. No gall stones. I figured okay good I'm in the clear with that. Next it was off to the cardiologist to get my heart checked.  EKG, Echocardiagram and a Nuclear Stress Test. That was a real trip and not in a good way. Anyway, thanks ALL be to God my heart is fine and whatever caused the pain in my chest that made me think I was having a heart attack, the cardiologist says it's not my heart. Now, looking back, I'm thinking it was an esophageal spasm..

Next, the gastroenterologist. I'm scheduled for yet another endoscope and a colonoscopy both being done at the end of September and, he informed me that just because the CT scan was read as being clear with no gall stones doesn't mean I don't have them.. Huh? Yeah that's what I said to him, What? According to him a CT scan is not the best test for gallstones but an ultrasound. I asked both him and my GP that while I"m waiting for the scopes until the end of September why not just set up the ultrasound now? Both said no we should wait. I have no idea why and it seems pretty stupid to me but what do I know? I was told however by the gastroenterologist that if I have the same pain again to call him right away.. I'm thinking to myself, Is he waiting for my gallbladder to explode before doing anything?

I also believe I may just have gallstones because I've been getting a lot of pain again and it's classic gallbladder pain. So we shall see. I don't like this waiting stuff to be honest. I am also quite concerned about my pancrease. My mom passed away at age 56 from pancreatic cancer. I am now 51. The gastro after learning of my moms history was pretty adamant that yes I have a large chance of having it since it was my mother and not a cousin twice removed although he said I'm not saying you do have it and I felt like saying to him, why in the hell would you even say this to me? I'm already FREAKED out about it.. I dunno.. Some doctors have a great bed side manner and some well, some just right out suck. He sucks.

Im also still dealing with the whole peri menopause thing and in nine days if I don't get my cycle it will be one year since my last and I will be considered 'officially' in menopause. Yippie? I sleep between hot flashes so I don't get a lot of sleep. You can imagine what that does to my already low energy and, my family will be here in two weeks for vacation for a week. I'm intrigued about how this is going to go.

Okay, I think you're about as caught up as I can get you in this post. I'm sorry it's so long and if you took the time to read it I thank you very much.. I"ll be back soon as I can. I pray you're all well and you're families are well and happy also..

God bless you ..


  1. My father died at 77 with pancreatic cancer, specifically, cancer of the head of the pancreas. AND, his mother died of the same cancer, same location! I am the child who has traits of my father. However, my grandmother dipped snuff and Daddy smoked for over 60 years. Daddy drank and kept his hands in chemicals and inhaled them. The doctor said I would probably get pancreatic cancer but would get it later than Daddy and grandma did. Still, it is scary. He was being honest and caring while not denying the reality of genes but pointing out I live a cleaner lifestyle. I have been tested more times than I can count to determine if my pain and nausea is gall bladder. I have a new doctor and will finally get to the bottom of all this. Good luck with your search for the truth of your problems.

    Oh, check out and ask doctor if your pain was the vagus nerve. My sister went to the hospital thinking she was having a heart attach. The verdict--vagus nerve.

  2. SO sorry you have had medical issues. Those are the pits. But happy to hear from you!

  3. Omg! I went through this whole ringer a couple years ago. I had chest pains. They started with an ekg. Nothing wrong there so they did the nuclear stress test, tested my gal bladder where they ran this dye in me, then said it must be my esophagus and ran all those test, etc….thousands of dollars later, they couldn’t find anything wrong but never listened to me when I tried to explain the pain. It hurt with deep breaths, kept me up at night and felt like someone had punched me in my chest due to the soreness when pressed on. They said it must just be heart burn. I was pissed because I knew what heart burn felt like and it was not that. During my OBGY appointment a few days later, I explained my pain….she looked and pressed around a minute and said, oh you have Costochondritis. Look it up. Should have gone to her first.

  4. MY gallbladder almost exploded and they did an emergency surgery and it totally fell apart when they grabbed it during surgery. I was lucky. I know that pain.

    I'm post menopause close to 20 years now - when my son died 19 years ago, the stress and grief slammed me into an early menopause and I had a hard time. I lived through it and I'm glad its over. I never had hot flashes but I did experience more of the emotional hormonal things which are not fun. I felt like I was going crazy at times.

  5. I guess I was lucky. I never had a bad time with menopause. Actually, I never even really noticed it. But then, I was always busy. I hope they find your problem soon and get it fixed. And, I agree, some doctors suck the big one! I have new doctors now because I could not take the sucky doctor anymore. You have a super day, hugs, Edna B.

  6. Just happened upon your blog. My mom died of gallbladder cancer, so if you have a chance to get your gallbladder removed, I would take it.

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~Robyn~ XO