February 7, 2022

Trying To Stay Alive



Well, here we are at part three. Gosh this has to be the longest life updates post ever! My dad always used to tell me when I was a little girl, "Robyn, come up for air".. yes, I talked that much.

So yes, you read the title of this post correct. For many many years, more than twenty I have had digestive issues and in the last almost nineteen years I slowly lost my ability to swallow solid foods and since my twenties I also have food allergies. I have had more scopes put down my throat into my stomach than I care to think about and through all of this the medical community does not seem to know how to fix any of this. I have been diagnosed with everything from GERD, hiatal hernia, Gastritis, Achlasia to gastroparesis. Sure, they throw some medications at me and they always seem to make things worse. I have given up on the medical community. In my thirty years of being sick, I am no better and in a lot of ways I am worse.

Last summer if you remember I ended up in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. Thanks be to God that was not the case but it was just another digestive thing. Over the years because of my swallowing I haven't been able to eat the best and so always struggled to keep weight on. Being unable to get proper nutrition affects all body parts. Because of this my teeth have wasted away over the decades as well and I no longer have thousands to keep paying for the dentists kids college anymore. I had dropped down to ninety two pounds since last July and was panicking trying to figure out what to do next. I tried home made smoothies but really didn't gain anything as I can not digest milk or dairy products. I tried eating lots of chocolate again but my gallbladder isn't happy about that and let's me know about it. I can't drink those protein shakes from the stores because most contain milk products, are loaded with sugar and preservatives and literally kill my stomach in pain.

Enter Kate Farms. I found them a month or so ago. This is NOT a paid post or a sponsored post. They make liquid nutrition for people like me and those who use feeding tubes. Their shakes are dairy free and most allergen free as well as organic so I decided to give them a try. While I will say I do still get a lot of stomach pain when I drink these which does make me sick all over, I don't believe it's the drinks causing the pain. I believe it's just my stomach because my stomach has hurt me every single day for the last thirty years. My stomach also does not move food like a healthy persons does. I can eat something at nine in the morning and at two in the afternoon some of it will still be sitting in my stomach. That's the gastroparesis. It's a sort of paralyzation of the stomach muscles.

I have been ordering two cases of these shakes for the last month and a half? I get the formula in chocolate which is a complete meal. It's complete nutrition just as if you sat down and ate a solid food meal and I also get their nutritional shakes which is just packed with vitamins and minerals. So I have been really focusing on this. So far I have gained a few pounds. It's painful but it's working. Now if my stomach would cooperate it would be wonderful but I guess I can't have everything. I will tell you, these shakes are not cheap and we have really been struggling to afford them but we just have to go without something else because I need these for survival.

Then of course I am also in menopause and that, isn't helping ANYTHING. The fatigue and the hot flashes are just, absolutely and completely life altering. And no, I can not do HRT because of family history and I wouldn't anyway. It's much too dangerous and all you're doing with HRT is putting off the inevitable. Once you stop it all the symptoms of menopause will come back so I am going through this naturally and let me tell you, it's rough!. I don't sleep well at all. Haven't a full nights sleep in over a year. The fatigue and brain fog is mind numbing not too mention the muscle and joint pain which I already have one a daily basis due to my autoimmune conditions. It's a real mess and sometimes it's all I can do to just get out of bed and some days I don't. So the thought of typing out a post or reading a book or for that matter anything that takes energy some days is just not something I can do. Hence the lack of posts in the last two? weeks.

Then there is my husband who needs my help, my five dogs, my chickens my home etc. all of which I am trying to manage as best I can with all the health obstacle's I deal with each day. Not an easy task I can tell you that.

Well I think that's it. I think  I've finally reached the end and updated you all on everything for now. Well, maybe not. I will tell you more in my next post.


  1. You sure are between barking up a good tree and a bad tree. I sure hope the solution you have now is a positive action with positive results.

  2. Robyn,
    I feel so for you. I have only had gastroparesis for about four years. However, I have gained weight. Sometimes, I eat dinner and go to sleep and the food is there next morning, over 12 hours. I went through menopause at 42, used HRT, and had to stop taking it at 70. Now, at 75 I still have the occasional hot flash. I looked at the ingredients in that drink. I am allergic to peas and gums, so this would not work for me at all. I can drink one milk because it is the a1 protein that I am allergic to. I drink a2milk. That is the name--a2milk. I get it at Publix. Maybe you can try that. I hate what I am going through, but at least I have not had it since I was young as you did.

    1. Im not sure where I can get A2 milk from I will have to look into it. I have been using Lactose free milk in my coffee but even that bothers me. I haven't forgotten you, your book should be there soon XO

  3. oh, you poor thing! I really hope these new shakes work for you and that is positive that you have gained a little. Maybe, as you gradually get better nutrition in your body from these and gain some pounds back you may feel at least a little better, I hope. I totally understand your disdain for the medical profession. After going through years of doctors appointments and tests for my dh, it all just seemed like a guessing game for them, with never any answers. Like you, the meds to try just added to the issues.

    1. Im sorry your husband is up against the same thing. It truly does suck

  4. I have a client with the same issues, it is hell. She is so thin.

  5. I feel for you - I have gastro issues that come and go if I don't pay attention to my diet. I wish you complete and total healing. It's no fun being sick all the time. Bless you.


Please leave your comments, I love hearing from you! :)
~Robyn~ XO